


Hearts and Brakes

by silkscream



Category: BLACKPINK (Band), Day6 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Road Trip, Exes, F/M, Getting Back Together, Light Angst, Mild Smut, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 05:32:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17677331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silkscream/pseuds/silkscream
Summary: Don’t hit the brakes on love if you didn’t put your seat belts on





	Hearts and Brakes

**Author's Note:**

> \- This was written almost a year ago when I was bored (unemployed).  
> \- Extremely self-indulgent.  
> \- This is also for A, my ult. Thank you for always enabling me. I will always do the same for you :*  
> \- Do try listening to the songs linked within the fic. They might help you get into the mood!  
> \- This was set in America but I am not American so please forgive any inaccuracies when it comes to the geography.  
> \- Please appreciate this beautiful ship.

_[_ [ _But how do you fall in love?_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fm9dWLDAN2k)

_Last time I checked, you can’t fall in slow mo]_

Jaehyung peeks through his blinders at the sound of his sister’s dog barking. He’d been waiting an hour, his knapsack sitting idly on the floor while he’d taken some time to lie down on his bed with his shoes on and think. All he ever seemed to do was think. One day he’s going to have to _do_.

And today is that day.

He almost trips on his backpack when he tries to rush out of his room, forgetting to pick it up until he had already reached past the door. He grabs it and heads back out, only to stop once more by the staircase. Breathe in, breathe out, he tells himself. There’s no turning back now. Brian would be disappointed in him if he flaked. It had been a long ass discussion, and frankly his best friend seemed way too into it. But he appreciated the support.

Once he’d gathered himself, he finally trudges down the stairs, slow and quiet. Her silhouette is clear behind the stained glass of the front door, and he feels the adamant thrumming in his chest again. He’s really going to do this.

He opens the door, and the loud squeaking noise just elevates his tension even more.

“Hey. Sorry for taking so long.” She says, monotone. She looks so pretty. Jaehyung’s heart sinks.

“Hey…Jen.” He eyes the small shoe box sitting next to her feet. “Are those…?”

She nods, leaning down to pick it up. “Yeah these are the things you left in my room.” She says distractedly.

And Jaehyung hates this. He hates that she has to go out of her way to give back the things he’d left at her place. They’d broken up, but that didn’t mean she could just erase him like this. He wants to refuse, tell her it’s all wrong and that she should just take him back so he didn’t have to take pieces of himself back from her instead.

But she’d been clear, firm, unrelenting. She was angry and she was yelling. There was nothing Jaehyung could do in that moment.

He licks his bottom lip and nods, reaching to take the box from her hands. The way she practically flinches at how their fingers touch shouldn’t hurt as much as it does. But it does. So much.

 _It’s your fault_ , he tells himself.

_Do something._

He sets the box down inside before taking a step outside. “I’m about to head out actually. Do you mind if I drive you home?” He asks, trying not to sound as nervous as he feels.

The look on her face is guarded, and she’s already shaking her head vehemently before he could get another word in. “No I’m fine. I took a cab to get here. I’ll just call another one. You go on ahead.”

He sighs. “Jen. Come on. It’s just a ride. Can’t you at least give me that?”

She’s worrying her lips as he talks, eyes shifting to the side. Jaehyung keeps his gaze firm on her.

“Fine.” She says along with a resigned sigh. Jaehyung lets himself smile. There’s no way she could be prepared for what he’s about to do.

They walk to his car, his dad’s old SUV that he’d passed on to him as a gift for getting into UCLA. She takes her place on the front seat like she naturally would when they’re about to head out together or go on a date. Looking at her, Jaehyung definitely can’t let her go. He won’t.

The drive to Jennie’s house wouldn’t take ten minutes, and it is too damn short. Jae isn’t having any of it.

The street where her house is feels deserted, nothing like the feeling it brought him when they were dating. There was just the exuberance, the excitement. He’d always been eager to drive by her house and pick her up. It’s been too long. Why did he have to screw things up? Now he has to resort to the biggest high jink he’s about to pull on anyone ever.

He eyes her house like he would an arch nemesis before breathing heavily, steadying his heart. He then steps on the gas just as they approach her house, completely rocketing past it.

“Jae you just missed my house.” Jennie says, apprehension in her voice. Jaehyung doesn’t grace her with a response and just keeps driving. They’re probably about fifteen houses away now.

“Jae!” Jennie practically screams. “What the hell are you doing?” Her hand is clutching on his elbow now, and man that hurts.

“Jen—listen to me!” He yells back. “I’m not going to give you up that easily!”

“You’re out of your fucking mind Jaehyung. Take me home right now!” She shrieks, anger evident in her voice. She only ever calls him Jaehyung when she’s furious.

He’s scared. Fuck he’s terrified. He’d anticipated her getting mad. But he couldn’t have prepared for it even if he tried.

“No Jen! I’m not taking you home!”

“Where the hell are you taking me? Jae I swear to god.”

“First of all, didn’t I tell you not to use the Lord’s name in vain? Second of all, I’m taking you on a road trip to Toronto.”

Jennie gawks at him, her face unreadable. Jae tries to focus on the road. “You’re not serious are you?”

“Dead serious.” He turns to face her.

“I’m calling my parents.” She proclaims before taking out her phone, but Jae is quick to snatch it from her hand and toss it over his shoulder, resulting in a couple of loud thuds as it bounces off the interior of his car.

“Nope! Lisa told me your parents are away on a week-long cruise. Don’t disturb them!“

“I’m going to murder you.” Jennie screeches, throwing her hands to his arm.

“Woman—Ow! Can’t you see I’m driving?!”

“I hope you fucking. Die.”

“You don’t mean that!”

“Jae! How the hell am I supposed to come to fucking Canada with you? First of all, that’s like a three day drive, not counting stops and I don’t even have my passport—“

Jaehyung cuts her off by reaching into the glove compartment and pulling out her passport.

“How did you—“

“I coerced someone to steal this from your room. She’s really sorry but she believes you should give my cause a chance.”

“Lisa…” Jennie grumbles. “I hate you. I hate all of you. This is kidnapping!”

“You’re not a kid.”

“Stop being a smartass and let me out!”

It would prove him a complete asshole, but he lets himself laugh out loud. He can’t help but be amused by the situation, be amazed that he’s actually pulling it off so far and that she’s sitting right next to him. He can’t help but feel a small tinge of happiness in contrast with the loneliness he’d been feeling in the past few weeks after they’d broken up.

/

Park Jaehyung would be nothing if he wasn’t a complete idiot.

The night before summer break, the two of them had gone to his fraternity’s party together. Jennie had plucked him away from his group of friends and led him up the stairs, into one of the (surprisingly) vacant bedrooms. He still remembers how she looked. She was wearing that dress he always loved on her, her hair tied up into a messy bun, and her cheeks flushed pink. She looked up at him with that shy smile behind the cup of beer in her hand. He was confused.

She’d told him then, that she loved him, and that she couldn’t imagine spending her life with anyone but him.

And it was too much. It was too much for Jaehyung. He wasn’t drunk or high or anything synonymous to inebriated. He was just stunned. In that moment he thought he’d forgotten how to speak.

He wasn’t the type to fall in love fast, but once he did, he’d fall hard. He’d fall so hard, it would hurt. Sometimes they’d catch him, but their fingers would slip and let him bounce right off, crash and burn. They’d love him in the beginning and realize he’s nothing special. They’re better off giving their heart to someone else. Sometimes he’d think they were right.

He couldn’t help but think, Jennie was going to be the same. His paranoia along with all his insecurities had gotten the best of him. How could someone like her be so invested in someone like him? It was obviously a mistake wasn’t it? They’ve only been dating for four months. Before that, they were practically strangers. He just took the time to get to know her, let her slowly peel his layers too. But he kept convincing himself that he was just comfortable, getting familiar. He was just enjoying her company. His previous heartbreaks have made him too cautious, but he knew somewhere in the deep end of his mind that he was falling in love.

But the fear was just too much.

He walked out on her that night, walked out on her the next morning too. He’d walked so far away that he made it all the way to Toronto without a word. He bought a ticket, got on that plane to Canada and didn’t look back.

/

 _En route_ _→_ _Toronto, Canada_

Jennie had quieted down for the last half hour. She’d resorted to giving him the cold shoulders even as he offered to buy her drive-thru food.

“All right. You’ve had your fun. Now will you please take me home? I’m tired, Jae.”

“I will. I’ll take you home when we get back from Toronto.”

He watches Jennie curl up in the front seat, hugging her knees and letting out a frustrated scream into the back of her arm. Jaehyung wants to feel bad, he really does. But he’s never been so sure of anything in his entire life.

Jennie hasn’t said a word since they reached the freeway heading to Las Vegas. Her cheeseburger remains untouched too.

He reaches out to shake her elbow, but she promptly shrugs his hand off and continues to sulk at the window.

“C’mon Jen. It’s not so bad. I’ll make this a fun trip for us, you’ll see.” He tries to convince her, deciding this would be the best time to make use of the Bluetooth speakers he had installed.

 _[_ [ _Well I was sleeping, only in my head_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KmF10HwkwE)

_Slipping in and out of time]_

He taps the steering wheel and sings along, glancing at her occasionally to see any form of a reaction or movement. Still nothing.

_[What better time to, take a ride with you_

_Through the universe, tonight]_

It’s not for another fifteen minutes that she finally speaks up. “I have to pee.”

“We just passed the rest stop Jen. It’s going to be another half hour till we reach the next one.

“I guess I’ll have to pee inside your car then.” She says, trying to sound deviant but just seems distraught.

“You can hold it in for thirty minutes can you?”

They pull over at a rest stop just outside Nevada where he fills up the tank and lets Jennie use the restroom.

Realizing he didn’t really bring any food aside from two packs of dry ramen and a bottle of tepid water, he decides to do some rationing at the convenience store. Surprisingly he finds Jennie is already there, staring at the chocolates section. He pays her no mind as he roams around to pick up some stuff himself, until he hears voices murmuring from the other end of the store, one of which happens to be Jennie’s voice.

He shuffles over to the source, only to see his ex-girlfriend conversing with a stranger. It’s not just any stranger too, it’s an attractive male stranger who seems to be flirting with her. His anxiety (rooted from his insecurities) rises up to his throat then, and he can’t help but frown at the sight. Jennie appears to be unbothered too, even looks as if she’s enjoying the guy’s company.

He’s not about to continue watching this, although a month ago he’d probably just solve this by walking away. No. Not anymore. Now he’s a different man—well as different as a month-long vacation with Brian could make him—so he swoops in, almost perfectly if he hadn’t bumped his hip against the corner of one of the shelves. He winces, subtly pressing a hand to his side as he approaches them.

“Hey babe, been looking all over for you. Who’s this?” He loops an arm over her shoulders and points his chin towards the male.

 

Jennie attempts to shrug him off of her while maintaining a smile aimed at the stranger.

“Uh, Jeongguk. I thought you were alone?” He asks Jennie.

“She’s just messin’ with you, Jeongguk. She’s with me, her _boyfriend_.” He says as a matter-of-factly. Jennie turns her head mechanically to send him a glare.

“He’s not—“ Jennie starts, subtly pinching Jaehyung’s arm around her neck.

“Hey hey, I don’t want to get in the middle of anything here.” The Jeongguk character interrupts her before grabbing a bag of M&Ms and taking a few steps back. “See you around Jen.”

“Except you _won’t_ be seeing her around, buddy.” Jaehyung yells after him, feeling smug. It’s not after the male has completely disappeared from the store that he finally releases Jennie from his grip.

“What the hell was that?” She shrieks at him.

“He was bothering you wasn’t he?”

“No he wasn’t! We were having a perfectly pleasant conversation before you came along.”

 

He has the audacity to fake a regretful look.

“Oh…my bad.” He says, before bursting out laughing as Jennie walks away. “Oh come on Jen.”

Jennie abruptly turns to face him again, gaze seething with anger. “I can’t believe how selfish you are, Jae. I’m not your girlfriend anymore. I’m not yours to save. I’m not yours to claim. So will you please, just—if you’re not going to take me home then make this easier for me and just leave me alone.” She stomps off, leaving behind a bitter taste in Jaehyung’s mouth amidst the aisle of sweets.

Once they’re back on the road, Jennie proceeds to ignore his very existence once more.

It’s not going completely according to his plan. That’s if he had a plan to begin with. Then it’s just not going according to his expectations. He’d brought her on this trip to force her to be alone with him so they could talk. He’d wanted to make up for the times they’ve lost, the times Jaehyung gave away without thinking. Her acting like this just makes it hard for him to open up. He’s scared his own words will blow up in his face, and everything will have been for naught.

But him not saying anything would be worse, wouldn’t it?

“Jen, hey. Can we talk?”

“I have nothing to say to you.” She says tiredly.

“I know you’re mad about all this but, I’m doing this so you’d talk to me. You’ve been avoiding me since we broke up and the one time you actually called me was to tell me you’d be bringing my things back. I mean, that didn’t feel too good Jen. I just wanted to talk to you.”

“It wasn’t meant to feel good, dumbass. Did you think it felt good for me?” She asks, tone rising.

Usually Jaehyung would be much more eloquent, much smarter with how he talks. He’d have something to say one way or another. But the fear and the nerves he’s accumulated throughout the beginning of this excursion has him fumbling on his tongue. And this is Jennie. He can’t just word vomit when he’s actually trying to fix things with her.

“Are you ever going to forgive me?”

She groans, sending him an exasperated look. “What’s the point, Jae? It’s over. You did what you did.” She sighs. “It’s going to take more than a road trip for me to forgive you. And I definitely won’t forget.”

Her words pack a few punches, and he can’t even blame her or accuse her of being unreasonable. He was the one who bolted out of the blue and never returned her calls. He was the one who disappeared for almost a whole month because he couldn’t deal with his paranoia and insecurities. He was the one who ran away because he couldn’t face her.

He’s not able to respond to her much after that, choosing to stay quiet in fear of making the situation worse. He’ll let her cool down for a bit.

/

Brian had gaped at him in confusion, but let him into his home without a single word.  He always had a way with knowing when to pry and when to let Jaehyung take the time for himself.

It still takes a lot of courage before Jaehyung could open up to him though. It’s mostly because he’d felt stupid and childish. He was afraid to see that disappointed look on Brian’s face.

It’s two weeks into his stay when he finally admits what he’d been thinking of since he got there. Everything from being lonely and missing his best friend to that last conversation (though a conversation would warrant two parties exchanging words) he had with Jennie. Even though it had been difficult to say anything, he couldn’t really keep it from Brian. Brian, despite living two thousand miles away, was the only person he felt he could really trust.  He knew Jaehyung’s insecurities and sometimes he knew Jaehyung better than he knew himself. He kind of hated it sometimes because it just added to the things Brian was better at doing than him.

“If you love her then why are you spending summer break with me, dumbass?” Brian asked in the middle of playing Overwatch—a game Jaehyung swore to only play if he was feeling salty about his life. Brian’s long distance girlfriend Minkyung had been on his laptop screen almost Jaehyung’s entire stay. It would have been awkward getting interrogated in front of her, but he’s gotten used to her cardinal presence.

If Jaehyung was feeling like his normal wisecracking self, he’d be snapping back with some sort of witty remark, but he’d just remained quiet and let his character get caught in a trap. “I can’t go back there man. She hates me, I’m sure of it. I acted out on impulse and I left her. Hundred percent, she hates me.”

“I’m sure she does hate you.” Brian said nonchalantly. He set down his controller, making sure to reply in Korean so Minkyung could get the gist of what they were talking about. Jaehyung sighed.

“Brian. I really don’t know. All of a sudden I was afraid. It just didn’t make sense to me. How could she feel so strongly about me like that? It’s just weird. I feel like she’d regret telling me that one day.” Jaehyung replied in broken Korean. He didn’t miss the amused snort Minkyung let out all the way from Seoul.

“She probably regrets it right now since it made you run off.” Brian deadpanned.

Jaehyung ruffled his hair in frustration. “I don’t know what to do, man. I still want to be with her. I messed up.”

“Yeah you did.”

“Thanks for the help bro.”

“All I’m saying is, she told you she loved you, and you love her back. You guys have been dating for almost six months—“

“Almost five months.”

“Almost five months. It’s so simple bro. Come on, I told Minkyung I loved her a week after we started going steady. If you know you feel it, just say it. That’s how Jennie dealt with it. Too bad for her, she fell for an idiot.”

“ _Dude._ You know how insecure I am. Yeah okay she told me she loved me, and let’s say I told her I loved her too. I’d be all in. You know I go all in, man. What if she doesn’t? What would happen to me?”

Brian sighed. “It doesn’t matter hyung. You don’t know what’s going to happen. You stay to find out. That’s how life goes on. You can’t just run away at the first sign of uncertainty. Nothing in life is certain.” He sent him a smile. “That was practically what you said to me when I was contemplating about getting on a long distance relationship.”

And really, Brian didn’t have to use Jaehyung’s words against Jaehyung himself, but God forbid he didn’t practice what he preached, he’d be the biggest hypocrite he ever knew.

/

_DAY 2_

“Okay, Jen.” He starts. “How about we just spend this trip together like how friends would? It’s such a waste to just drive that long without stopping to look at the amazing views or buying souvenirs at least.”

He hears her let out a resigned sigh. “Whatever. It’s not like I have much of a choice.” Jaehyung takes it as a wholehearted agreement to his proposition. “You better make this trip worthwhile.”

“Okay! You got it!” Granted, he didn’t have an itinerary, but Google was always his best friend. “There’s a bunch of souvenir shops around here. Why don’t we check ‘em out?” He asks, tone enlightening. “You love them little trinkets and shit, don’t you?”

 

Jennie just shrugs and proceeds to defiantly rest her feet on top of the glove compartment. Jaehyung can only wince.

They arrive at a quaint town in Colorado at around six. It’s still bright as broad daylight and Jaehyung is feeling a little adventurous, a little mischievous.

He grabs Jennie’s hand and abruptly pulls her into one of those thrift stores, the ones you see in the movies. It smells exactly how it looks, stuffy and antique. The dust sets off Jaehyung’s allergies, but he’ll live. He hopes.

He manages to tow her into the deep end of one of the stores, where there’s hardly any space to move because of the amount of clothes racks and shelves shoved like they were a game of Tetris. He sends Jennie a jovial smile before disappearing behind one of the taller racks and reemerging two minutes later with half a cowboy’s get-up and a toy (water) gun in hand.

“Listen, if it’s a horse ride it, if it’s a fence fix it, if she’s a lady…treat her like a queen.” He punctuates with a wink aimed at Jennie, accompanied by a small bow.

“You’re a dork.” She rolls her eyes, arms crossed over her chest, but the raised corners of her lips betray her. Jaehyung counts this as a small victory.

He coughs up a laugh and aims his fake gun at her, and clearly he must look like a complete asshat because she’s downright sniggering now. It feels good hearing and seeing her laugh. It defeats the feeling of dust mites clogging his throat.

He transfers his cowboy hat onto her head, causing her to make a cute irritated face at him. She goes on to grab a pink feathered scarf and throws it around his neck, laughing and clapping her hands together. If he has to look like an idiot to make her happy then so be it.

He proceeds to look around some more, doing his best to ignore the prickly feeling in his throat and his stuffed nose. His eyes are getting a little watery too, which is a little harder to ignore considering how much his vision has gotten blurrier.

When he turns around he doesn’t see Jennie anywhere. She’s probably just behind some clothes racks, he thinks. She’s tiny.

He goes around to look for her, and it takes about seven minutes without a sign before he starts to let himself panic. “Jen?” He calls out, turning from one side to another. “Jennie?”

He coughs, fingers coming up to scratch his neck as if he’s scratching from the inside. He calls out to her again, his voice getting strained, probably from the dust mites. Oh gosh he can’t breathe. His chest hurts, the panic from the allergy attack and Jennie’s disappearance sitting heavy on it. He rubs his eyes behind his glasses, which causes them to fall to the floor with a resounding thud.

His long limbs flail about as he blindly searches for refuge. He’s dizzy now. “Jen?” His voice comes out weak and scratchy. “Shit—“ He proceeds to bump into a mannequin. “Sorry miss—“

“Jae?” He thinks he hears an angel’s voice. “Jae! Oh my God!” The angel says. Is he _finally_ dead?

Jennie holds him by the elbows, helping him remain steady. He thinks she’s giving him a concerned look, but it’s hard to be sure because she just looks like a blob now.

“Jen? I’ve been looking for you.” He tries. He reaches up to touch her face, and she doesn’t shove it away or anything. “Are you here to send me off to heaven?”

“Don’t be dramatic! I was in the fitting room, idiot! Where are your glasses?” She glances around, crouching down to pick up his glasses off the floor. “Do you have your medicine in the car?”

He just nods while squeezing his eyes shut. Jennie takes his hand then, and it feels so secure, even though her hand is small, it still feels like the whole world. That or he’s just deranged from all the allergens. It’s probably both.

She pulls him out of the store and brings him to the backseat of his car. He watches her rummage through his backpack for his pill organizer. She still knows which one he takes when he’s having an allergy attack, so she easily takes one out and hands it to him along with a bottle of water.

“I shouldn’t have agreed to go in there.” Jennie grumbles. “And you! You said your allergies are bad in this climate. You know things they sell in thrift stores collect dust for weeks.” She punctuates by hitting him on the arm, hard. “You’re such a dumbass!”

His vision has slightly recovered, if only because the lighting outside is much better. He has the audacity to laugh, because he knows how she only gets this angry and worked up when he’s made her worry. “I’m sorry babe. I just wanted you to have some fun.”

“Don’t—“ She sighs. “Whatever. Let’s just go. I’ll drive.”

“No no no wait! Let’s stay a bit and roam around.” He grabs onto her hand and tugs on it like a child would. “I’m feeling better already. Come on, let’s check out that trinket shop.”

Jennie just looks at him for a moment, contemplating, before casting a palm over her forehead and nodding. “Yeah okay, fine.”

 _[_ [ _All you want is milk, more than you can drink_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lStgSeDuiCY)

_All you want is honey, but you can’t take the sting]_

Jaehyung grins and proceeds to tug her into the store a few doors away from the thrift shop. He can feel the exhilaration radiating off of Jennie as soon as they step in. The place is adorned with ornate objects, from lamps and picture frames, to clothes and jewelry.

She makes her way towards the selection of beautiful jewelry spread out on top of an ornamental desk, eyes bright and lips stretched ear to ear. She always loved these kinds of things, always had an eye for beauty. If Jaehyung didn’t know any better, he’d say she saw a little of that in him before. But that was before.

Jaehyung notices her gaze lingering on a particular peace. The wooden beads are carved and strung elegantly into a stunning bracelet. He smiles softly, nudging her arm. “You should get it.”

She smiles, tight lipped and contemplating. “It is gorgeous. But it’s a little expensive and I don’t want to buy it out on a whim.” She sighs. “Maybe next time.” She takes a step back and turns to look at something else.

Before they knew it, it was already dark outside and stars were lining the sky. They’d made it to three other stores, one of the old store handlers thinking Jaehyung was Aaron Carter risen from the dead. First of all, Aaron Carter is still alive and second, if Jaehyung were to choose which white celebrity he wanted to be mistaken as, it would be a young Leonardo Dicaprio. Jennie laughed so hard they had to throw them out for disrupting other customers.

Jaehyung had offered to buy dinner, confident in his credit card that was still connected to his dad’s bank account. Jennie was reluctant as per usual, but she seemed to have succumbed to her hunger and desire to eat something that wasn’t Cheez-its or Twinkies.

It’s a charming little restaurant in the middle of small town Sedgwick Colorado. It’s nothing fancy, but it’s not trashy or anything either. Jennie managed to buy a change of clothes, bargain ones, and Jaehyung took a shower on the sink of a public restroom. If he didn’t know any better, he’d call this a date.

There’s soft folk music playing in the background as they eat. Jennie ordered a salad at first, but Jaehyung teased her by calling her pretentious and fake so she changed her order to a medium well steak, much to his credit card’s chagrin. He really shouldn’t have said anything.

“Hello dearies, the dance floor is open for couples now. Don’t be shy.” A waitress says as they approach them and a few other people on the surrounding tables.

Jennie shakes her head. “Oh no we’re not—“

“We’re not done eating!” Jaehyung interjects. “We will. We will dance when we’re done.” He nods, avoiding Jennie’s questioning gaze. “Come on it’ll be fun. We don’t have to be a couple to dance.” He says after the woman has left.

“You hate dancing.”

“What?” He feigns incredulity. “Now when have I ever said that?”

Jennie rolls her eyes and continues to poke on her giant steak.

“Let’s go.” Jaehyung states abruptly, pulling himself off his chair and taking Jennie’s hand.

“Wait I’m not done—“ He doesn’t let her finish and jerks her out of her chair, dragging her to the dance floor.

 _[_ [ _Oh, you fill my lungs with sweetness,_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4XdnD5c334)

_And you fill my head with you]_

He sends her an affectionate smile and holds both her hands, swaying them on either side. She looks at him back with amusement because she knows he doesn’t have any idea how to do this. It’s not long before she’s downright laughing because Jaehyung is not a dancer in any way and this song is hard to dance to.

“Okay so, you suck at this.” Jennie chortles, shaking her head. She then pulls both Jaehyung’s hands and puts them on her waist before throwing her arms up so she could wrap them around his neck. Jaehyung sneers because it’s practically just her hands on his neck now from how far she has to stretch to reach him.

“See, this isn’t so bad.” Jaehyung says, making light of how he actually feels. Inside he’s anxious, because he just wants her to look at him again the way she used to. He wants to feel her love and see it in her eyes like he did before she even said it out loud, before he let his fear take away the only good thing going in his life.

Inside he’s overwhelmed with how pretty she looks even as she avoids looking back at him. He’s overwhelmed with how much he actually loves her and how much he wants to be with her.

Jennie hadn’t realized, but earlier Jaehyung had stayed behind in that one store and bought the bracelet she had been eyeing. He takes it out from his pocket in this moment and slips it onto her wrist without a word.

“Jae, you—“ She starts. “You shouldn’t have.”

“I wanted to.”

She looks back at him then, but he can’t read her face.

“Jen I—“

But then the song ends, and everyone’s clapping their hands. Jennie’s arms drop to her side as the other people start to disperse. “Let’s finish eating and go.” She mutters, awkwardly tucking her hair behind her ears and shuffling backwards, almost bumping into one of the waitresses in the process. “Sorry!” She croaks. Jaehyung’s chest tightens.

/

_DAY 3_

Most of the morning drive is spent quietly, much to Jaehyung’s disappointment. He still hasn’t composed his thoughts properly even given the time. He can’t seem to bring himself to talk, because he knows she’s going to snap. He knows it was his fault and now he’s the one running after her.

He looks over at her from the passenger side, and she returns his gaze exasperatedly. “What’s the point of this, Jae?”

“To get you back.” He murmurs.

“How’s that coming along?” She asks, tone laced with cynicism.

“Oh it’s coming…” He trails off. He swears he believes it.

/

 _[_ [ _Where did we go wrong_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDWJWILEA7o) _,_

_I know we started out alright]_

The sun’s just about to set when they arrive in Des Moines. It’s a warm feeling, the orange hue spreading across the horizon and Jennie’s skin. She looks beautiful, and each time he realizes this his heart takes a dip.

“Alright, let’s settle by this lake park for now. Maybe we could go swimming or camping or whatever. Sounds good.” Jaehyung rambles on as he checks his phone after parking by the lakeside. It takes him a few seconds to realize Jennie is already letting herself out of the car. He then follows after her, slowly taking his place to stand next to her. “Wow. Now that’s a view.” He mumbles, marveling at the body of water and the surrounding stumps of land, the orange sky irradiating them beautifully.

He turns to look at Jennie who seems to be just as in awe as he is. “I wish you didn’t throw my phone at the back of the car so I could at least take a picture.” She says.

Jaehyung chuckles at this, reaching for his phone in his pocket before handing it to her. “Here. Just air drop it onto your phone afterwards.”

She seems to hesitate for a second, but eventually she takes it from him, their fingers brushing slightly. Even the smallest touch sets Jaehyung off now, and he wants nothing more than to reach for her hand, touch her face, kiss her lips.

He lets her do her thing. She’s always been into taking pictures. When they were together, she’d snap candid pictures of him and he’d give her the silliest faces once he’d caught her. And she’d laugh, the cutest laugh Jaehyung’s ever known.

 

It only took the sun a few minutes to completely set, and this has Jennie walking back to him with a frown. “Here. It’s not as pretty in the dark anymore.” He takes his phone from her.

She takes a seat right next to him, and Jaehyung would be lying if he said he wasn’t surprised. He’d expected her to settle down as far away from him as possible. Perhaps it was the chill, her desire for body warmth. Or perhaps she’s not as far gone as Jaehyung thought.

“What kind of a trip is this, really?” Jennie asks.

“The kind that wasn’t planned.” He answers, chuckling softly. Jennie just shakes her head.

“I can’t believe you went this far just to talk. You could have just dropped by my house.”

“What? And miss the horrified look on your face when I drove past your entire subdivision? Nuh uh.” He thinks he sees the corner of her lips quirk at that, and he holds on to it.

“You’re so annoying.”

“—ly attractive? Gosh Jen I know that already. You don’t have to rub it in.”

Jennie not-so-gently shoves him at that. His heart swells.

“Hey Jen. Wanna go swimming?”

She gives him a look of disbelief. “You’re kidding right? It’s freezing and, no thanks to you, I don’t even have a swimsuit on me.”

“Is there a sign somewhere that says you need a swimsuit to go swimming in the lake?” He looks around, pretending to look for a sign in the dark. He then proceeds to remove his glasses and taking his shirt off.

“Jae what are you doing?“

Without paying her any mind, he continues to shed his clothes off, only leaving his boxer shorts on. “I didn’t bring a swimsuit either. But I’m going in.” He declares before hooting loudly and running into the water. Fuck, it’s cold. He bites back the urge to shriek and submerges himself into the water for a second before emerging once more and shouting. “The water is great Jen!”

“I hope you suffer from hypothermia!” She yells back.

“Come on! You know you want to!”

He watches her rise from the ground and shuffle towards the edge of the lake. “This is a trap isn’t it? You know I love to swim.”

“Oh you do? You see, I forgot that little tidbit.” He jokes, laughing out loud as he motions for her to get in the water again.

“I’m going to get my only underwear wet.”

“Then take it off. Take everything off!”

“Huh—you wish asshole.”

“Come on, I won’t look. I’ll turn around.” And he does just that. He tries to be all casual about it, but frankly the thought of her getting naked and wet is turning gears in his head.

He can practically hear her contemplating, and then there’s ruffling sounds—the sound of her taking her clothes off. “Don’t look! I swear, Jae.”

“See, even if I did look, I wouldn’t see much of anything because it’s almost pitch black out here.” He talks while his back is still turned away. He doesn’t get a response, but he hears her dipping into the water.

Just as he’s turning to face her direction, he’s met with a giant serving of water splashed onto his face. “That’s for kidnapping me.” Jennie says, and he doesn’t miss the playful undertone.

“That’s kind of weak, Jen. I mean, I kidnapped you. I should at least be getting ten times the amount of water splashed on my face. Like, tidal wave level.”

“Shut up!” She says as she flicks her arms against the water to shower him again.

And really, she shouldn’t have, because Jaehyung’s arms are really long and he can get back at her tenfold.

Jennie’s scream reverberates against the water, and Jaehyung quickly swims over and clasps a hand over her mouth while laughing. “Jeez you’ll disturb the wilderness. And those happy campers a hundred meters away.”

He hadn’t realized how close he’d gotten to her just now until she’s prying his hand off her mouth and swimming backwards. Instinctively, his hand reaches out for hers underneath. Who knows what else he could have grabbed but he manages to take just her hand. “Jen—“ He starts, voice low, tone laced with just the right amount of desperation and yearning.

She hears it. The look on her face says so. And yet she’s not pulling her hand away. Instead she lets the soft current push her back towards him. “Jae…”

“I miss you.” He whispers, raising her hand and pressing his lips to the back of it.

A soft whine escapes her lips, her free hand pressing against his chest as if to push him away, but he feels no force from it.

“I miss you. I miss this.” He mutters softly against her damp skin, trailing kisses along her arm up to the crook of her neck.

“I—.“ She’s not able to finish whatever she was about to say, because Jaehyung’s lips have already made it to hers.

He can tell she’s still trying to resist, but it doesn’t last long because soon enough she’s sighing into the kiss, her body floating even closer to him. Her bare chest presses against him, eliciting a soft groan that scratches his throat.

She then wraps her arms around his neck and Jaehyung takes this as a sign to deepen the kiss, tongue slipping between her parted lips. He’d missed the taste of her mouth, something he’d taken for granted when they were together. He savors every bit of it in this moment, taking into memory the feeling of her tongue dancing along with his, her soft mewls reverberating into his mouth. It’s all just memories.

His hands dip below the water, tracing the lines of her body before settling them on her buttocks. He pulls away from her mouth to gasp for air before attaching his lips to her neck, trailing along the wet curve to her shoulder. Just the way she tilts her head to the side to give him better access has him teetering on the edge of his sanity. Everything about her drives him crazy. He wonders why he’d been so scared of the consequences before. He’d been so scared of getting his heart broken. But now, like this, he thinks he doesn’t mind if someone this beautiful broke his heart as many times as she’d like.

He’d never done this in the water before, but right now, he can’t find the heart to care for his own inexperience. Her hand is already down there, pulling his cock out of his boxer shorts. He moans against her shoulder, his hips naturally canting upwards, hungry for friction. She begins to stroke him gently. He throws his head back at the sensation, and who knew getting a handjob underwater would feel this groundbreaking?

He meets her for another kiss, wet and sloppy, but she pulls away quick and presses her face against the crook of his neck instead. His thoughts are already a bit muddled up by the way her wrist flicks underwater, giving his length the push and pull and twist he never thought he needed.

It’s not long before he’s already unloading into the pitch black water, his eyes almost rolling to the back of his head from the sheer pleasure.

But then the next thing that happens—and really, he’s not sure if it just happened right at that second or he was just too busy with his orgasm to notice—but he thinks he hears her sob softly against his shoulder.

“Jen?”

She pulls away then, but she doesn’t spare him a glance and just continues to sob quietly as she slowly swims away.

“Jen! What’s happening here? Why are you—“

“I’m going back to the car.” She firmly replies.

His shoulders sag. He let himself get too caught up. Just because she gave in to his request didn’t mean she forgave him. It sucks and he hates himself for not realizing sooner.

/

 _[_ [ _I had all and then most of you_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtlgYxa6BMU)

_Some and now none of you_

_Take me back to the night we met]_

The strain on his neck and his lower back pulls him away from his slumber. His long limbs had permitted him to sleep on the back seat, but it’s hardly enough space for half of him, let alone his whole body. He straightens up, careful not to make any sound. But he quickly realizes the front seat where Jennie is supposed to be is vacant. He cops a feel in the dark for his glasses and lets himself out of the car.

There he sees Jennie sitting on the ground illuminated by a small fire. Carefully he approaches her, apprehension sitting heavy in his stomach from how they’d left things earlier.

“You…made a fire.”

“I told you once that I was a girl scout in elementary school.”

“Right.”

He crouches next to her and holds out his hands to absorb some warmth. He sends her a cautious look. “Look, Jen. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too Jae.” She’s hugging her knees, gazing straight into the fire. “I don’t know what you want from me.”

He swallows a lump in his throat, shifting a little closer to her. “I want…I want you.”

She scoffs. “You _had_ me.” Her eyes appear glossy. Jaehyung thinks there are tears welling up on the rim. “You had me and you left me hanging. What the hell was I supposed to think? How do you think that made me feel?”

Jaehyung doesn’t think much before he speaks, just desperate to placate her.

“I love you.” He blurts it out, and it’s the truth. He’s never been able to say it out loud, too afraid of its weight. Although saying it like this doesn’t bring him much relief.

The gape she sends him looks of disbelief mixed with anger and hurt. “How. Nice. How fucking nice. Thank you, Jae. Thanks for giving me this chance to return the favor.” She shoots up from the ground and starts to stomp off, walking out just like Jaehyung had walked out on her that one night.

Jaehyung doesn’t sleep much that night, and from the way Jennie shifts and turns on her seat, he thinks she’s no different.

_DAY 4_

_[_ [ _I love you still, I always will_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTDfbigxcK0)

_But you’re the one in the wrong]_

They’re somewhere in the state of Illinois when Jaehyung suddenly pulls over on the side of the road. “Holy shit. Oh fuck fuck fuck no no no!” Jaehyung groans loudly, slamming his hands on the steering wheel.

“What?” Jennie shoots up, dropping the magazine she was reading onto her lap.

“I forgot to fill up on gas.” He says forlornly before clutching his head.

“Wait. What? Oh my God Jae! How can you be so irresponsible?” Jennie exclaims, almost mimicking his action.

If he were to be honest, much of his mind has been occupied by thoughts of self-depreciation and ways how he’s going to convince Jennie to get back together with him.

“Just. Breathe. We’re going to be fine. Let’s just take a break around here.”

 

“Here? Where is here? We’re in the middle of nowhere! What are we going to do?”

“Shh! Quiet down and let me think, woman.” He says before perking up a few moments later. “Okay, I got it! Let’s just call a towing service or something to get us to the nearest gas station.” He fumbles around for his phone. To his dismay, it’s already dead and he doesn’t have his battery pack. “Oh my word.”

Jennie just groans.

He’s just about to give up when he remembers. “Your phone! I threw it in the back but it hasn’t been used since we went out so there’s bound to be a few percents left right?” He proceeds to reach into the floor of the back seat, copping around for her phone. He’s able to retrieve it after much effort and difficulty, but the eleven percent battery life is reward enough.

“Give me that!” Jennie grabs it from his hold. She fiddles with it for a moment before speaking up again. “There’s an online service and it automatically pinned our location. It’s going to take forty-five minutes for a tow-truck to get here.” She lets out a heavy frustrated sigh. “I can’t believe you.”

There’s a brief moment of silence before Jaehyung gathers the courage to speak once more.

“Well—“ He clears his throat, suddenly nervous again. “Maybe, we can use this break to talk about…last night?”

“Jae please.”

“Why? Why can’t we talk about it?” He retorts, tone rising.

Jennie holds her cheeks and whimpers. “Because! There is nothing to talk about. How many times do I have to say it Jae? It’s over! I can’t be with you anymore after what you did.”

“Why? Why can’t you at least try to forgive me?”

She doesn’t grace him with a verbal response. Instead she gawks at him angrily before brusquely letting herself out of the vehicle.

“Jen! What—where do you think you’re going?” Jaehyung cries out, panic rising to his throat as he steps out of the car as well. “Come on, Jen!” He jogs after her, surprised how far her short limbs were able to take her in such a short time. “Jen, talk to me, please. I’m trying here. I’m sorry for what I did. I know it’s not easy to forgive but at least let me know that you’ll try.” His voice is shaking, anxious.

Jennie abruptly stops. “It still hurts, Jae. Everything hurts. Looking at you hurts. This—“ She gestures around. “Whatever it is you’re doing. It hurts.” She sobs, and Jaehyung himself feels like crying.

“I know. I know I hurt you and I don’t blame you for being angry. What I did was stupid and childish. I was a coward.” It feels as if there’s something trapped in his throat. Words? A sob? He slowly walks closer to her. “I walked away because I was too afraid. Because I loved you too. And knowing myself, when I love someone, I go all out. I give the person all of me until there’s nothing left. That’s how I’ve been living.”

The only thing he hears from her is another sob. He takes this as a sign to keep talking. “I don’t think much of myself. I act like I’m confident and that I don’t care but in reality all my insecurities were eating me alive. I couldn’t believe someone like you would want to stay with me. I thought you just dated me because you didn’t know how to say no to the poor nerd who had a crush. Maybe you were just looking to pass time. I wasn’t sure. I didn’t want to make sure.”

Jennie turns to face him then, her eyes swollen and her cheeks stained with tears, still unable to speak.

“When you said those words, I was happy. I was too happy. But then I thought it was too good to be true. You’ll probably regret saying it. Shit like that. I was afraid you’d leave me eventually—“

“So you left me first.” Jennie shoots back, hurt evident on her features. “I never knew you’d be that selfish.”

 

“I know. I hated myself for it. The whole time I was in Canada, I never stopped thinking about you. I thought hey, I was going to get hurt one way or another. And I realized. I would rather get hurt by you a hundred times over than not be with you at all.”

Jennie sniffs, brushing the hair off her face. “I…I don’t know what to say anymore. I don’t know what to feel—“

Jaehyung grabs her hand then, holding it against his chest as she pulls her close. “Jen. I’m so in love with you. I love you so much, it hurts. Please just love me again. I’ll do anything.”

“You’re so stupid.” She murmurs. “I broke up with you because I was angry. It didn’t mean I just stopped being in love with you.”

He feels his own tears stinging the corners of his eyes. He doesn’t know what to make of that. “I can’t believe you just assumed I would hurt you. I’m the one you hurt. You have no idea how painful those four weeks were for me.” Jennie replies.

“I suffered thinking about what I gave up too. I just—I just want you back, Jen. I won’t stop trying.” Jaehyung pulls her in for a tight embrace, all hunched down because of the difference in their size. It’s the perfect kind of different, he thinks briefly.

He feels her arms cling to his back in return. She cries loudly, drenching Jaehyung’s left shoulder with tears. “I hate you!” She yells, hitting his back with balled fist. “I hate you, asshole! I hate you because I can’t hate you at all. Not even if I tried. I forgave you the first time you apologized. I was just scared too, Jae. You _left._ ”

“I know, I know. And I’m never leaving you again. I promise.” He means it. Even if Jennie does end up hurting him. He doesn’t care anymore. All he cares about is being with her again.

Jaehyung pulls away slightly to face her, pressing his forehead with hers. His glasses bump against her nose but she doesn’t seem to mind. “I love you.” He whispers, his big hands coming to hold her face. He kisses her tenderly, pouring all his heart onto her lips.

Jennie clutches his shirt when she kisses him back, all warmth and softness. Jaehyung feels the weight of the world fall off his shoulders and into his arms instead.

/

 _[_ [ _'Cause I would go the distance for you, baby_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YH3ArVgkw6I)

_I'd travel 'round the world if you would let me]_

The road to Brian’s house suddenly feels too short from Illinois. Jennie had let herself be brighter, sitting inches closer to Jaehyung as he drove with one hand on the steering wheel and the other in hers.

_Arrival (EPILOGUE)_

“I’m finally meeting _the_ Jennie Kim in the flesh.” Brian says cheerfully as he leads them into his house.

Jaehyung beams, unable to take his hands off her. “Yep. My. Girlfriend.” He stresses the last word while wiggling his brows. Jennie hits him on the chest and peels him off of her. He then leaves them to get acquainted in favor of diving onto Brian’s sofabed.

“It’s nice to finally meet you too, Brian.” She beams, reaching over to shake his hand. “Nice place you have here. You live here alone?” She casually asks.

Brian shakes his head. “I live with my girlfriend.”

“Oh yeah, introduce her to Minky!” Jaehyung yells. “Minky ah!”

Jennie looks around, seeming curious. Jaehyung snickers under his breath when Brian goes to fetch Minkyung from the kitchen.

“So this is where you were when you ran away from me huh.” Jennie mutters, sitting down next to Jaehyung who’s easily making himself at home.

“I didn’t run away from _you_ , per se.” He tries, laughing cheekily as he pulls her close. Jennie wrinkles her nose, unamused. “Oops, too soon?”

Brian reemerges from the kitchen with his laptop in one hand and a couple of bags of chips in the other. On his screen is a Facetime window with Minkyung sitting on her bed eating ice cream off a tub. Jaehyung anticipates Jennie’s reaction with amusement.

“Oh!” Jennie meekly laughs, waving at the camera. They greet each other and chat in Korean, Jennie being way better at it than Jaehyung is.

“I can’t believe I actually did it.” Jaehyung mumbles next to Brian, feeling a little breathless from how happy he is.

“I never doubted it, hyung.” Brian tells him in that gentle voice of his. “I’ve never seen you more worked up than how you were right before you came back to America from your last trip. You were so determined. I’m proud of you for getting over yourself and sucking it up.” He says that last part so softly that Jaehyung doesn’t even know to be offended or endeared.

Jaehyung reaches up to ruffle the younger male’s hair. “Thanks, Bri bri. I would’ve taken much longer if it weren’t for you.”

“You’re right. You owe me. Buy me a steak dinner and consider your debt paid.”

“My debt.” Jaehyung laughs, patting Brian on the back, hard. “Don’t push your luck, boy.”

Brian shrugs. “It was worth a shot.”

/

 _[_ [ _Cause this bed we’ve made’s an ocean_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AU7gCZlflNk)

_And I lie in it to be safe]_

Jaehyung and Jennie stay for a few nights at Brian’s house. Games of Charades and Pictionary were played, movies were seen, talks were had, and hearts were in the same place.


End file.
